The alt.marketing.online.ebay (AMOE) Drinking Game
Dedicated to the faithful readers and posters of
alt.marketing.online.ebay
WARNING: Amateur drinkers may wish to skip any step involving multiple
drinks.
- One drink for every post that contains a scam password fisher where the
poster asks "is this a real eBay/PayPal e-mail?"
- One drink for every post that says in some form "PayPal sucks"
- One drink for every time someone complains about PayPal fees by citing
their original "always free" promise
- One drink for every time Frank-the-Spammer's "eBay was arrogant and I'm
not a spammer" thread gets resurrected
- One drink for the semi-weekly shipping charge debate
- One drink for the semi-weekly "eBay should have auto-extensions on end
times" debate
- One drink for the semi-weekly "Can I use Priority Mail boxes/tape/etc. to
mail/UPS/FedEx non-PM items?" debate
- One drink for "eBay should work like a real live auction..."
- One drink for "Should [subject] be added to the drinking game?"
- One drink for "Gee, I saw 'marketing' in the newsgroup subject, so I
thought it was OK to spam..."
- One drink for "I have a nonpaying bidder. What do I do now?"
- One drink for "I got paid via [insert form of payment here]. Is it safe?"
- One drink for "My buyer is in Romania/Indonesia/Malaysia..."
- One drink for "My buyer wants me to ship FedEx/DHL/{Other Overnight
Carrier} and gave me his credit card number..."
- One drink for "I don't take [insert payment method here] and it hasn't hurt my business..."
- Two drinks if anyone replies with any variation of "How do you know..."
- One drink for "My buyer has zero feedbacks and I specifically said no
buyers with less than [insert number here] feedbacks allowed"
- Two drinks if poster doing the complaining about zero-feedback bidders has
relatively low feedback as well
- Two drinks for the "self-insurance" debate
- Two drinks for "I'm going to sue eBay..."
- Two drinks for "What's your eBay ID so I can make sure I never deal with you..."
- Two drinks for every top-poster who reignites the "top posting wars"
- Two drinks for every post that contains a variation on "I want to make
money on eBay. What sells really well?"
- Two drinks for every post that contains a variation on "What's the best
day/time to end my auctions?"
- Two drinks for the monthly "AOL's blocking my mail" whine
- Three drinks if the whiner resurrects a month-old or older "AOL whine"
thread to do it
- Two drinks for every post that contains a variation on "Please reply by
e-mail as I don't have time to read all the messages posted here"
- Two drinks for every time someone losing an argument on AMOE posts any
variant of "You're a eBay/PayPal shill"
- Three drinks if the variant is "You're a eBay/PayPal employee"
- Two drinks for every time the "should I sell internationally" debate
restarts
- Three drinks if the international debate includes a whine over Canadian
import duties
- Chug every time the "Who leaves feedback first?" argument starts back up
Special Don Lancaster rules:
One drink for each time Don mentions:
- His special 30:1 ratio
- His $19.63 "bare minimum average" eBay sales figure
- He only accepts Visa/MC/PayPal (2 drinks if he adds any variation of
"wham-bam" to the statement)
- He doesn't accept foreign bidders (2 drinks if he adds that his suppliers
do not allow it)
- Bid-blocking any "difficult" bidder/buyer (i.e. one who requests a refund,
one who requests special terms, one who has to be negged)
- 2 hours minimum image prep time
- 10 words maximum terms and conditions (2 drinks if someone points out that
Don's own terms are longer than that)
- Never selling anything you cannot hold at arm's length
- Shrinkwrapping something to a skid (yes, it was a joke)
- Water-soluable swimsuits
- Excrementing on the eBay altar
- "Norfolk & Waay" (2 drinks if someone posts a serious follow-up asking
for an address or web page for them)
- "What part of '[He/She] is not going to sell to you' are you having
difficulty comprehending?"
Supplemental Don Lancaster rule:
- Two drinks if Don mentions one of the above topics and it bears no
resemblence to a correct answer to any question actually posed in the thread
Special Fred M. rules:
One drink for each time Fred posts:
- a misspelling of eBay as "ebaY", "EbAy", or any way other than the way eBay itself spells the name
- a "recommendation" of SpareDollar.com with his referral ID tacked onto the URL
- a misspelling of Microsoft as "Microflaccid"
- a misspelling of PayPal as "PayEnemy"
- a complaint about PayPal fees by citing their original "always free" promise
- a complaint about PayPal fees by griping about "downgrading to a pay account" (that is,
a PayPal premier or business account)
Supplemental Fred M. rule:
- Two drinks if Fred mentions one of the above topics when the topic itself has appeared nowhere in the thread up to that point