I have been very blessed as an Orlando Bloom fan to find many things via my online Orlando fandom. I'm sure many would probably think that my Orlando Experiences are what I treasure most, and while they are some of the most amazing adventures of my life, the friendships I have made are actually the most precious to me. At least two-thirds of folks I keep in touch with on a day-to-day basis are friends I've made via my online Orlando fandom. These are people who have been there when I needed someone to talk to, who have offered encouragement to me in terms of my hobbies, or have offered me friendly comfort in very difficult times. We might not know each other face-to-face (yet) or have had the privilege of enjoying each other's company, but we're FRIENDS all the same.
In mid to late 2003, I met someone on an Orlando message board I used to hang at who became a very dear friend of mine. Her name was Marilyn. In all honesty, I struggle to remember exactly how or why we began chatting as much as we did away from the board. I can tell you I was a big fan of her digital artwork (which I was honored to feature here at my site), and she was a big fan of my “Sex Bomb” video. For whatever reason, we began chatting more and more off the board, exchanging e-mails on a daily basis, exchanging addresses, and even telephone numbers. We wrote each other letters, and we had phone chat sessions that would last HOURS. Besides Orlando, we always managed to find something to talk about, and more often than not, it was silly and we shared lots of laughs.
But the friendship was more than just lighthearted fun. In December of 2003, I went through a very difficult time in my life, emotionally speaking. I felt betrayed and abandoned by many who had led me to believe they were “friends.” I can honestly tell you that Marilyn's warmth, kindness, and unwaivering support were the biggest factor in getting me through that time. Mar stood by me, reassured me, and encouraged me. I will be forever grateful to her for that. I'm one who believes strong and deep relationships can be forged in times of hardship, so even though we hadn't known each other “that long,” after this situation, I felt very close to her. Anytime after this, when I needed to cry or scream, I would call her and she ALWAYS had time and kind words for me. She was very much a protective presence in my life.
2004 rolled around and we began making plans for our meet up. A Lord of the Rings museum exhibit was making the rounds and was due in her homestate of Massachusetts, in Boston, in August. So we figured that would be the perfect time for me to visit. We'd go to the exhibit, she'd introduce me to shellfish and genuine seafood, we'd gush over Orlando together, she'd take me to work and show me all the awesome tools she got to use to make her amazing art and videos...it was going to be a lot of fun.
It's said that life is what happens when you're off making plans...so I guess, life intervened. In late April/early May of 2004, Marilyn received some distressing news and was taken ill immediately afterwards. We both figured her feeling sick was a result of the bad news, you know, how you can find out something and just want to crawl in bed for a week? Unfortunately, a week went by and then another, and Mar wasn't feeling any better. The doctors she visited didn't have any answers for her either. It was a very scary and rough time as she was unable to keep in touch because just being out of bed for more than a minute would cause her to get nauseous and ill. I sent her flowers after a few weeks of not being able to talk to her, and she called me to thank me for them. I think that was our last conversation. Only about 30 seconds...her thanking me for the flowers, and letting me know she was too sick to be on the phone or computer. I told her she was missed, and she asked me to let those who had asked about her at the Orlando board we were now hanging at know how much she appreciated their concern. She assured me she’d call me when she felt better and had some answers.
Weeks went by and I didn’t hear from her. I remember leaving her 3 messages that went unanswered. That worried me because I knew Mar would not neglect messages unless something was VERY wrong. On May 30th, I wrote a 4 page letter to Orlando Bloom about Marilyn and our friendship, mailed it out on June 1st, still have the receipt on my fridge. I figured maybe getting a silly Legolas pic in the mail with his stamped autograph on it might help lift her spirits. Whether or not it would have, I guess I'll never really know.
On Thursday July 8, 2004, I decided to once again try giving Mar a call since I hadn't heard from her in so long. If anything, I was prepared to leave another message with the hopes she might get back to me this time and maybe the others just hadn't gone through. So, I called her house and a man answered. I asked for Marilyn, he asked who I was. I told him, and he said, “Sonia, Marilyn isn’t here anymore. She passed away.” I said nothing. There was nothing TO say. I kept quiet, so he repeated it, and it was like a blow in the stomach. I heard a woman in the background ask who it was, he said my name, she asked to speak to me. It was Marilyn’s sister, Carole. She talked with me for a while, attempting to explain to me what had happened. I absorbed bits and pieces of what she said.
Apparently, NOBODY knew Marilyn was as ill as she was. Even though she was in the hospital for a week, nobody ever bothered to notify the family. They weren’t aware of anything wrong until the Wednesday they got “the phone call.” Marilyn suffered a massive coronary with diabetic complications. Her sister speculated that the emotional blow Marilyn suffered just ate away at her, and that stress (“a Bartasek family trait”) just must have been really bad for Marilyn, and for a diabetic, stress can be a killer. Evidently it was.
Marilyn’s sister asked where I was from, how I knew Marilyn. I wonder if she thought it odd when I told her I met her online. I don’t know, really, but she has been extremely kind in subsequent e-mails. She apologized for not having been able to notify me before then, but there was no address or phone book they could find. She did say that my name was on some things printed out on Marilyn’s desk though. She very kindly took down my address and told me she’d send me a rememberance card. It was my first one.
Marilyn was absolutely remarkable, and the world....well, MY world definitely had a shade of gray pulled over it at the terrible realization that I’m never going to get to give Marilyn a REAL hug or ever hear her voice again. I felt, and sometimes still do feel, extremely bad for not having been there for Marilyn when she needed someone most....especially since I'd had a passing thought to visit her for my birthday in June but didn't go through with it. Hindsight is always 20/20 though.
So, as part of a very painful, first-time-ever grieving process, I decided that I needed to do something to honor the memory of my dearly departed friend. Since Orlando was the reason we met, and Orlando connected us through our respective hobbies, and I had delivered him a gift she handmade for him back in December...I decided that getting him the letter I had written about her back when she was taken ill (which had been added onto after she passed), which included the story of the dragonfly charm (check my Jay Leno experience for more details), was what I had to do.
It seemed a very crazy mission. However, Orlando was in Louisville, Kentucky filming a movie at the time that this happened. Louisville is only 7 hours away from my home in Northern Illinois. I thought that “meant something,” because, come on...how many films are going to film in Kentucky?!? I'm always looking for “signs” like that, I guess. Anyway, I had been reading online how many fans had gotten so lucky in meeting him during filming, and I got it in my head that if I just went to Louisville, I would have that same luck and be able to get him this letter and that doing so would be me having DONE SOMETHING for Mar, no matter how late.
So, on Thursday July 29, 2004 at about 4 in the morning, because I have the best family in the world, my mother, younger brother, and I took off on a roadtrip down to Louisville. They wanted to help me in my wild goosechase. I'm often the Queen of bad timing, though, and we arrived on the last day of shooting in the city. I may or may not have seen Orlando drive by the front of the Brown Hotel in an SUV...but that was as close as I got, if at all. I guess it wasn't meant to be that day.
Unbeknownst to most, I also sent the letter out Via Venue to two different places in early August, and sent 2 copies out to friends on the East Coast for the Toronto Film Festival in early September. A friend of a friend was very kind in offering to take a copy of the letter in case she got close, and 2 other friends were absolute dreams in agreeing to take a copy if they got close too. But, once again, it wasn't meant to be.
Obviously, after so many attempts and failures, one would tend to get discouraged, as I did. I already felt pretty mental about the entire situation, but it is also a situation I could not just “put behind me” or “forget about.” I don't know if it was the pain of a first loss or the guilt of not having been there for Mar or what, but I had it in my head that this NEEDED to be done. Orlando needed to know about the way he brought one of the most amazing people I've ever had the privilege of knowing into my life, he needed to know about her gift to him, and I needed to thank him for our friendship. But, it just didn't look like it was in my cards....and then, I got dealt a new hand.
In early October, it was reported that Orlando's movie, Elizabethtown, would be filming in Pasadena, California for a whole week. I just so happen to have 2 very close friends, Shawna & Nelly who have also accompanied me on my other 3 Orlando Experiences, who live IN Pasadena! I took that as another “sign.” And in the first spur-of-the-moment decision in all my 23 years, I booked a flight to Cali with only FIVE DAYS NOTICE! As a friend of mine would say, I was off "on a wing-and-a-prayer" to once again try and get this letter about Marilyn to Orlando Bloom. The following is my account of the two day experience....