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Deep Sea Lesbians attack!
As if the brimy deep weren't terrifying enough!

Pop sensation Mariah Carey has trained a brainless army of terror!
And no, we don't mean the members of her LiveJournal community!

Bob Dole Magicite discovered in Middle East!
The world cowers in fear as the evil politician's powers have been passed down through Magicite.

Britney Spears to join the Greek Pantheon
Mount Olympus will never be the same.

The Pope rewrites The Bible!
This shocking development will change Modern Christianity forever.

Enix eats Square!
The two software giants conglomerate into one large, sticky mass.

Grandma Crunch
Is any senior citizen safe from the threat of this crippling disease?

Voodoo Sex
Cyber sex may snuffed out by the latest craze in virtual pleasure.